#1320.

Omg I cannot believe I actually chanced upon this video on my Facebook wall. Mummy, is that you? Of all the random live feed that can appear, it had to be this video. Watch it, confirm cry like crazy. It's like a sequel to my blog post yesterday.



Dads are the best. I love you daddy (:

#1319.

I'm beginning to realize, maybe one year alone isn't such a bad idea after all. I'm taking time to appreciate my dad, and I do realize I had been quite wrong all these while.

My dad is a great father, who endured all he could to pull the family together when my mum was diagnosed with cancer 9 years ago. Throughout the 3 years battle with the dreaded disease, never once did he give up. If you had been a care-taker of a terminally ill patient, you would know it is not easy. Especially when the person is someone you love so much. It is a struggle because I know many a times, we want to give up. I admire my dad's resilience.

Recently, I began to notice he talks more to me. Probably because I go home for dinner every day. Even though he still doesn't ask "how was your day?" and always nods silently whenever I have something to say, I think he appreciates that I spend more time at home.

And I also realize he loves stingray & kaya cake, but is a stingy man so he will never buy them to eat. He's ultra helpful to everyone even though he knows people are making use of him. He doesn't want to reject so he only complains to me. Because he knows I'll never betray him by spilling the beans to someone else.

He's drawn into politics and wants me to read more so as to make informed choices. He talks about History (which I absolutely has no interest in) and how humans never learn. He is a wise man. He talks about money & finance & loans & banks. He's proud that he know Economics even though he never studied much. He's clueless as to why we like to use Facebook but he's fascinated by Youtube.

That's my dad and I'm sorry that I wronged him. I'm sorry that I blamed him for being over-protective. For not allowing me to stay over at my boyf's place. For dissuading me travel overseas with my friends. For urging me to return home early every night. He only do so because he loves me.

I'm suddenly reminded of a quote "a man was upset because he had no shoes, until he met another man who had no feet".

So apt. Why am I taking things for granted? Things could have been worst. I have a dad, but what about those orphans? My dad does not drink or smoke. He did not re-marry because he loves my mum so much. He cooks & cleans the house. What about those dads who drink & smoke & are never at home? I lost my mummy to cancer, but what about those who lost their parents at birth? At least I know my parents love me. I can't go overseas, can't stay out late, can't sleep over, but what about those who can't even live till tomorrow?

Stop focusing on the negativity & look on the bright side. Life is beautiful (:

P/s. My thyme is sprouting! Damn excited like newborn baby! Pictures soon! (:

#1318.

Super backdated updates on Ballet Under The Stars 2011! :D I remember I used to go to one of these when I was very young. My mummy would make bro & I queue and re-queue for goodies. Hahaha. I remembered the open field to be a very big space but when I was there again this year, it seemed much smaller. Maybe I've grown.

Like you know how when you were little, everything seemed huge?!

Argh Photobucket went to re-size the width of the photo cos the size exceeded! Anyway, I did it collage style so I don't have to upload many pictures.

I was late so I could only catch the last 5 seconds of the show. Blame the park because it was such a long walk from Dhoby Ghaut MRT! The only girl in the club - Liting! She's crazy flexible hahaha!

I like the last picture because it is colour coordinated and they look like boy band (even though blur).

Recommended by Dehui, we settled dinner at Tawandang! The whole group of us couldn't find this place and went round & round Suntec.


The ambience was pretty good, with live band & singers. The food was below average (I felt). Guess the beer was cheap & good! While waiting for the food, I heard loud "booms" and thought was thunder. Until it suddenly hit me that it could be fireworks!! Rushed out to take some pics & admire the beautiful sky :D


Great job NUS Bboy Club! Now known as BreakiNUS. Hahahahaha so funny the moment boyf left for the States, they changed the name :P Anyway, really proud of everyone, especially You (;

#1317.

I don't know who to vote for in the upcoming Presidential Election. Like totally clueless. There isn't as much hype as the GE where information was plastered all over my Facebook wall. I could easily watch rallies on Youtube and read articles linked up by friends. It was easier to make a choice. Now, I know nuts about the candidates except that they all share the same last name, and are all capable men. Ohmemy.

Came across this on Tumblr and smiled to myself thinking "If I have a baby boy, will I dress him like this?" Way too cute!


Bro remarked that I look the same during my Poly graduation & Uni convocation. And I quote "You look like you took the took the photos on the same day, just change gown only!"


Remember I said I was making a scrap page but it wasn't saved? I found another page I did quite some time ago but didn't publish. Here goes - first attempt at digital scrapbooking!


I finally got my lazy ass off my couch and did some gardening! Been procrastinating for almost a month! :P Wanted to split my thyme seeds into 2 batches, but when I "sprinkle lightly" onto the 1st pot of soil, all the seeds came out! The worst thing was they're so small (half the size of sesame seed) and are camouflaged by the soil. So I couldn't possibly pick them out.


Covered them with some more soil & watered them. Hope my babies grow! :D

I'm nursing a migraine now & I need a cuddle. But! I'm not gonna waste my Sunday away so I've decided to scrap a page. Running out of ideas for embellishments so this is a simple one. For you! X


It's a summary of the happenings & numerous pictures I have collected over Whatsapp. Instead of letting them sit in my folder, I might as well scrap it into something I can look back upon! :D

#1316.

I just spent 4 hours on Photoshop tryna make a scrap page. And guess what? There was an error in saving the file but it was not prompted when I closed Photoshop. Now my scrap page is gone! Major pissed with myself!!!

But I'm now convinced that the page wasn't that nice anyway, so no harm re-doing (:

Random updates - weekly Skype with Dennis Ong is the best thing e v e r! Super looking forward to it every week! (: Work wise, I'm so glad I pushed for something which is gonna help all of us in many ways. Special thanks to the people from S&P Team. They're awesome! :D Met up with my favourite girlfs & I'm glad they knocked some sense into me. In fact, the more I talk about it, the more I feel that I was wrong. What was I thinking seriously???! Thank you everybody: bro, boyf, girlfs.

&&& thank you baby for that sweet reminder "no cold stuff until period is over!" (': Have a happy weekend everybody! X

#1315.

Updates about work: re-org again! Gee I've been talking about this re-org thing for the longest time. Not only is there a structural change, the split among ourselves have also changed. We've been sorting out this for quite a while now, but this was finally announced to the entire organization. So I guess it's for real!

We're now a 11-men team, with one more pending to join very soon. I am no longer will soon be moving Wealth Management out of my care. Will stick with Core Banking, but 2 big teams are also coming under me - Credits & Collections. Both dealing with credit cards & such.

Good news is that I'm moving away from my boss! Wahahahaha. It used to be me, my boss & bubbly girl. But now it's me, aunty & SQ girl.

Our soon-to-be 12-men team will comprise:

• Me, aunty, SQ girl (former air stewardess!)
• Bubbly girl, my boss, unidentified person
• Slacker, Pessimist, VC
• Glutton, pretty babe, skywalker

4 teams of 3!! :D

After reading boyf's blog, I'm tempted to blog like him too. Check it out here! I love reading his blog so much because everytime I'll be learning something new. Like he's gonna stay in a farm???! Awesomeshit jealous max! Kthxbye.

#1314.

Hellooooo people! I'm happy because I'm back to watching dramas online! And this time, I'm watching Love You 醉后决定爱上你 by Rainie Yang! Gee I've almost forgotten how awesome it is, to just stone in front of the monitor and watch my favourite drama.

Anyway, the last show I watched by Rainie was Campus Shrewd. And that was like 2.5 years ago?! My entry here!

I still love her so much (:

And about 2 years ago, I was in some sort of online drama craze. Entry here!

Feels soooooo shiok to go back to good old dramas. I cried at the very first episode. Watch the snippet below. Sad part is 10:38, really super sad.



I told the boyf about it and he replied "you trying to hint hint me right?" LOL!

I know you're a good boy baby! But you never know when temptations arise. Hee.

Oh and can you believe it I actually went swimming yesterday by myself! 1) I usually would not exercise by myself cos I'm lazy like that, 2) it was freezing cold but I was so determined to do it! /pats self on back/

#1313.

Don't you EVER dare to judge me! Yes, you! You, who don't even bother calling unless you need help. You, who don't give two hoots about my (immediate) family. You, who doesn't know what goes on in our daily lives. So please don't like you know everything & that you genuinely care. Stop criticizing my family. Even though I'm recently not on very good terms with my dad and bro, I still love them. I'm filled with so much hatred whenever somebody speaks ill of them. Unintentionally or otherwise. Just F off and stop bothering us already.

Sorry if my recent entries seemed a little angsty. Must be because the dumb boyf locked his phone & car keys in his car, and is very much uncontactable now. Zzzzzz how can this baby take care of me for the rest of my life?!

Haha kidding dear you know I love you. X

Haven't been updating on my APAD album so I'm picking out some nice ones. Everything is on fb! (:

#007 - 3100711
Boyf bought this for me on his recent trip to Genting. Such a cutie! We named it Cocoa (: and this is a good luck picture for his first day at internship! (:

#009 - 020811
Stole Borrowed my boyf's pillow for a year, just so I can hug it to sleep every night. But his scent is gone already ):

#015 - 080811
Actually it's not just your stupid face that I miss.

And today is our monthsary! First monthsary apart, and 11 more to go. I'm counting the days! (: Had the most fabulous Sunday because we Skyped for more than an hour! It's the longest Skype session we've ever had & it really makes my day. Thereafter followed by an hour's phone call. We can never run outta things to say :D And I always always hates the hanging up part. Anyways, played with Photoshop again and I made this for you (:

Thank YOU for everything. I am indeed blessed (': No thanks to force me to think/act out of my comfort zone, but I will try. For the better of everyone. Afterall we came into this life to learn.

Lubb chuu nong time! X

#1312.

There are just too many sad notes for a day. I received 2 shocking news, one after another this morning. I wanted to say it ruin my day, but on second thoughts, I guess it enlightened me quite a bit.

Life is so cruel. I have a perfectly healthy & happy friend who's diagnosed with cancer 2 months ago. I just got to hear of it today. Don't ask me who. And my dear friend, if you happen to read this, please take very good care. I know it's not easy; I know how much it hurts. I cannot say I understand how you feel, because I don't. But I've witnessed my mum going through so much pain & suffering, and nobody deserves that. But life is like that. Life is a bitch. Life is a test. Be strong girl, keep on fighting! (':

Shortly after, I received a call from my aunt that one of the distant friend's daughter just passed away last night. We're not blood related but this generous man, is a very good friend of my grandfather. I don't know the whole story, but I'm deeply touched by how generous he is even though he is not a rich man. His elder daughter (who just ROM-ed) passed away last night. It was a sudden death & nobody knows why.

After hearing the news, I was disgusted at myself. We have a young girl who's battling cancer, and another who left behind the people she love so much, yet here I am whining about everything! I ought to be ashamed. I'm complaining about work, about colleagues, about my dad, about my brother, about life being unfair. I'm always jealous at how my friends can go overseas, have a good job, have lots of money, have freedom, etc. Shame on you Qin! It's a wake up call for me. To cherish the present.

There are many things in life to be thankful about. Quit whining, start living! Have a happy Saturday everybody. X

#1311.

Happy National Day! I love August because there are 2 Public Holidays, plus the Presidential Election's one day off in-lieu. Woohoo! :D

Anyhow, I woke up feeling quite unhappy because of the superbad sunburn on my arms/shoulders. I tossed and turned in bed for 2 hours, unable to fall asleep even though I was super tired. Picked up my phone, and was so relieved to find my baby online. Whined to him abit and he suggested I should pop a painkiller. I was so thankful for that brilliant advise (': Certainly helped a lot!

Popped by Toys R Us to grab birthday gifts for my sweeties Davian & Claudette, before heading to their place for the celebration. Kids are always a joy to hang out with. I was supposed to be working from home but was too tempted with Photoshop. Hence, spent about 4 hours working to perfect the scrap page below! Hope you like it!


How time flies, here are the links to the previous years' birthdays (: 2009 & 2010.

*

Someone shared this on Facebook and I thought it was a good read, hence I'm sharing it here too (: I've copied the entire article just in case the link gets invalid over time.

A father's message from beyond the grave: My darling children, here's how to live your lives when Daddy's gone
By RACHEL PORTER
Last updated at 1:04 AM on 23rd July 2011

Memories of Mandy Flanagan’s late husband Paul fill the house they used to share.

Pictures of him as a floppy-haired schoolboy, a handsome teenage rugby star, a newlywed, and a devoted dad, adorn the walls and window ledges of their country cottage.

But Paul, a teacher, who died of cancer at the age of 45 in November 2009, passionately believed his children, Thomas and Lucy — just five and one-and-half years old at the time — should have more than fading photographs to remember him by.

‘There was nothing more important to Paul than being the best father he could be,’ says Mandy, 44.

‘When he knew he was dying, there was no time for self-pity. He became absolutely focused on doing whatever he could to continue being a good dad to them throughout the years, even though he wouldn’t be here in person.’

He wrote them letters, filmed DVD messages, bought future birthday presents, and even filled a large chest with his favourite books.

‘Each book is accompanied by a note to Thomas and Lucy explaining why Paul loved it, and how much he hopes they will too when they’re old enough to read it,’ explains Mandy.

But perhaps Paul’s greatest gift to his wife and children was a document titled ‘On finding fulfillment’, which Mandy discovered on his laptop, by chance last month.

‘I opened it and, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I discovered his bullet-pointed code to living a good and happy life,’ says Mandy.

‘The list of 28 instructions for living a good life contained no empty platitudes; each one completely reflects the way that Paul lived his own life.

‘He was wise and brave and decent to the core, but I could never have found the words to sum him up so perfectly as he has himself.

'I can’t tell you what a comfort it is to know that our children will grow up with a real understanding of what made Paul, Paul.’

She adds: ‘It would have been our tenth wedding anniversary this year, and while we didn’t have a perfect marriage — lots of love and laughs, but lots of arguments too — I realised when I read his words that, when it came to the stuff that really matters in life, we were absolutely united.’

Addressing his children, who were too young to comprehend the tragedy that was unfolding, Paul writes: ‘In these last few weeks, following my terminal diagnosis, I have searched my soul and heart to find ways in which I can reach out to you as you grow up.

‘I’ve been thinking about the matters in life that are important, and the values and aspirations that make people happy and successful. In my view, and you may well have your own ideas by now, the formula is pretty simple.

‘The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage. If you aspire, friends will respect you, employers will retain you, and your father will be immensely proud of you.

‘I am therefore giving you several pieces of advice. These are the principles on which I have tried to build my life and they are exactly those that I would have encouraged you to embrace, had I been able to.

‘I love you very much. Never forget that.’

What follows is an extraordinary list of rules, which could enable us all to live better lives. It encompasses everything from the importance of table manners to the perils of gossiping and everything in between.

‘And it’s just so Paul!’ laughs Mandy today.

‘It makes me cry but it really makes me smile too.

‘He was an old-fashioned school-master and utterly meticulous when it came to manners. I’m obsessive over the kids’ “pleases and thank yous” because I know that Paul never let them get away with it.’

Mandy reads aloud from the list: ‘Be punctual … Show moral courage … Never, ever let a friend down … Well, that was Paul. He was maddeningly early for everything. He spoke up for what he felt was right, no matter how unpopular it might have made him. And I have never met anyone so loyal to their friends.

‘He also wrote that they should never give up, and he certainly never did. He fought so bravely, so courageously, right to the end.’

Paul was first diagnosed with skin cancer in 2004. A birthmark on his chest had become malignant, and was swiftly removed in November that year, when their son Thomas was just a few months old.

In January 2008, after years of regular check-ups, he was given the all-clear, when Mandy was expecting Lucy.

‘He was such a positive person, but he never allowed himself to believe that the cancer had been dealt with,’ says Mandy.

That May, a swelling appeared under Paul’s arm and specialists quickly confirmed his worst fears. The cancer had spread to the lymph glands in his arms, and was detected in his neck soon after. Surgery and radiotherapy did little to halt its progress. And, in March 2009, scans showed that the cancer had spread to his brain and his condition was terminal.

‘He never pitied himself,’ says Mandy. ‘The diagnosis, and perhaps the drugs he was on, triggered a sort of mania. He suddenly had so much energy. While I lay awake upstairs worrying, Paul would work through the nights, determined to get his affairs in order.’

He meticulously organized the family finances, arranged his own funeral, and even bought his own memorial bench for the grounds of Reigate Grammar School, where he had taught economics since 2003. He also set up a cricket team for all of his friends, who now play annual memorial matches to raise money for the Melanoma Foundation.

Over the weeks, piles of shoeboxes full of paperwork, hand-written letters and DVD messages for his family and friends took over the dining room.

And as his health deteriorated, Paul insisted that he and Mandy went shopping for Thomas and Lucy’s 18th and 21st birthday presents.

‘I wonder how we got through those days, but there’s a strange kind of adrenaline that just keeps you going,’ says Mandy.

‘You just want to do whatever feels right. We went to a jewellers in Spitalfields market in London to buy Lucy an eternity ring for her 21st.

‘When the woman at the counter asked: “Is it the right size?”, Paul and I just looked blankly at each other. “We don’t know,” I said.

‘She looked at Paul and saw how desperately ill he was. Then all three of us looked at Lucy sitting in her pushchair, completely oblivious to it all.’

Lucy was christened last summer. As a result, she has one godmother and nine godfathers — each a close friend of her father’s.

‘He wanted his friends to have a permanent tie to his family, I think,’ says Mandy. ‘And if Lucy couldn’t have her father, a fantastic team of godfathers was the very least she deserved.’

By the time Paul died — at home, eight months after his terminal diagnosis — Mandy felt certain that he would rest peacefully in the knowledge that he had left the best legacy that any father could.

‘When some people are told they have just a few months to live, they decide their life won’t be complete until they’ve bungee-jumped off Sydney Harbour Bridge or seen the Grand Canyon. But that wasn’t Paul. All that was important to him was right here.

‘He lived and died by his own rules, and I know he had found his own fulfillment.’

Still in the midst of editing photos. It should not take a long time but I'm always so distracted by the wonders of Photoshop. Heh. Also, because yesterday Thirteen met up! Like after almost one year?! A lot a lot a lot of photos to edit. Eggcited! Ok I hope you guys had a great day! X

#1310.

Pardon me because this is definitely gonna be a lengthy post.

Boyf has started blogging here, so you can check it out if you're interested. I always feel a tinge of sadness whenever I read his blog, because he seems to be having so much fun over there while I'm missing out on Every Single Thing ): Isn't it great if I could just spend a year with him in the States. We'd have so much fun exploring, doing crazy things, growing together.

BUT!

I'm learning to look on the bright side. If I wasn't given the opportunity to do the above, then there must be greater plans for me ahead (: Aja aja! Hang in there Qin!

This week hasn't been all that smooth-sailing. I'm talking about work wise. Maybe my boss (male) is having that time of his month, or perhaps he's just too stressed out, but I got pretty insulted by him.

During our weekly team meeting, I brought up the fact that work load is getting heavier and I haven't been able to bring documents to levels 5, 7 and 8 for sign-off. And they are currently sitting in my drawer. I proposed that I do it weekly instead of daily because there are other impacts associated with bringing documents daily. Like people not at their desk, thus a wasted trip. People not answering my calls/emails, etc. But my boss bluntly replied "I used to do it daily".

He's indirectly trying to say "I don't see why you cannot do it."

Well, I sure can! Provided I work like a dog and leaves the office at 10pm daily. And comes in before 8am. And work during weekends too. But I definitely do not want that. I'm not aspiring to get promoted or climb the corporate ladder. I just want to do what I am capable of, sometimes exceeding my scope, getting recognition for the effort I put it, and gaining due credits when I deserve.

Nevermind about that harsh remark made. Few days later, he even said I 'was stupid'. Eh c'mon la. I admit I'm not smart but please, I am not stupid.

You don't even label your own child stupid, how can you call others' children stupid? That's downright insult.

The story goes, I was trying to confirm if a contract staff was going to be converted into a permanent staff under the same organisation. My colleague was the one who wanted me to initiate the email, because I was the one who asked her to process the conversion. I don't blame her, because she probably wanted me to get a confirmation.

So I wrote to the manager and asked him to confirm the above, only to get a rude shock when my boss exclaimed "Qin! Do you know how stupid you sound??" I was gobsmacked! I mean, it's just an email right???

He then explained that my colleague was already kept in the loop about this conversion, so why am I asking people to confirm something which they had already approved. I told my boss that I wasn't kept in the loop & was merely following what someone else told me to do! If my colleague was already informed in a separate email, I was definitely not aware.

My boss said in an exasperated tone "look at how the manager has replied you. It's so sarcastic! I don't want you to sound so dumb! Next time check with me first."

I didn't get how this reply seemed sarcastic to him "yes Qin he is". Just 4 words as confirmation. Like that sarcastic meh??? Idiottttt go ESAD!

I'm now not on good terms with my boss. People who piss me off will reap bad karma. Suck on that!

Work aside, my bro texted me on Friday evening to "go home early because dad is sick & I'm worried about him". Like wtf. I don't get why I should be made responsible. Dad, just go rest early if you are feeling unwell la. Of all the times I hanged out late, I reached home 100% of the time safe. I have NEVER gotten into any trouble /accident of any sort. So why you still worry so much??? I don't get it. Really. Not fair.

Last night was the last straw. It was a really rough night because of the many things my bro said about me. I couldn't stop crying and finally managed to fall asleep. But I woke up again at 1am, so glad to find that my boyf was on Whatsapp. So we chatted for about an hour, before he managed to calm me down & tuck me into bed again.

Ok, done with all the unhappy stuff and now to happy stuff!

Monday - met up with Sabby, Hoon, Shu & Weili for dinner. After which we went to Weili's place for HTHT. So much love just talking about anything & everything. About work, about school, about love, about family, about the future, about the past. And the best part of the night was definitely a call from dearest boyf! (:

Friday - met up with sis Noi & sis Meh for dinner. Had a crazy time laughing about random stuff & taking pictures like there's no tmr. Love my sisters dearest (:

Saturday - met up with AK (except Kathy) for some Sentosa-loving. We all didn't put sunblock and got burnt quite bad. I'm now red like lobster & emitting heat. Totally regretted not slapping sunblock! The skin is burning as if it just underwent chemotherapy. Poor us suffering with burnt skin now ): Sucks ttm! Nevertheless, it was a great time out. Away from work, away from all the corporate bullshit, away from missing my boyf (:

Sunday - met up with Dennis's mum & dad for lunch. Damn awkward please because I have nothing much to say. His mummy also brought me to the TCM clinic to adjust my body. The physician was shocked at my purple nails & white palm! She said I have a weak body with so many ailments (migraines, bloated tummy), hence I have to eat more meat! Especially beef because I lack of protein. Dennis's dad also said I must take good care so that next time it's easier for me to get pregnant. Hahahahaha omgwtfbbq! Also went to visit sis Ting and babygirl Clarisse. She is such a sweet little princess. It's so heartwarming to see the family so blissful with their first child. And I even carried Clarisse for a while! So nervous because I've never carried a newborn before. Such a beautiful, delicate baby (: Love you baby Clarisse!

Came across this on Facebook & thought it's fun to share. I cannot even understand 1% of what they are talking about hahahaha that shows how bad my Chinese is! The Big Bang Theory made in China /:



Ok I'm gonna edit photos while you digest the whole chunk of what I've written. Blog again soon! (: