FIRST; i have to learn to count my blessings bcos i now realise that there are other people out there who got much worse itp companies and are not complaining! so i should stop being so childish. there, i feel much better :]

SECOND; pdwm paper was ultra bullshit cos i dont know how to do more than 50% of it. what the hell is "block stacking", "pallet positions", "inventory in transit", etc... seem so weird. like i didnt revise for pdwm. BUT I DID! strange. wells, just hope i pass.

THIRD; i have this feeling that exams are over! (again) woohoo! why am i sprouting rubbish?

FOURTH; do i look old? bcos i was walking home when my neighbour's daughter called me aunty. WTH!! she corrected her, "its jie jie la" -___-

LAST; shall stop revision for now bcos s'pore vs thai is coming up!! yay!! GO LIONELLEWIS! loves <3

I AM FURIOUS.

i cant believe it. i didnt get into my desired company even though i had dear noi to hand in the form wayyy before deadline. its so unfair. & that damn guy who got into my company. big ROAR to you! how dare you... i hate it la. i thought i could do itp with bigsis ting but turn out i'll be alone. i know im childish, bcos so many others are doing it alone too. but i just feel like roarring it all out. bcos i find it utterly ridiculous that that guy can hand in much much earlier than me us. & whats more he chose my company!! actually im not saying that the company i chose is good or what, but at least i can be with ting dearest. now that im all alone, im gonna cry! i know im such a crybaby but i cant help it.

& to make things worse, i called DH to appeal for a change in company...

me "uh, can i change the itp company?"

DH "but its already finalised you know. ive confirmed everything."

me "ya, i know, but i hand in my form very very early but i didnt get into any of my choices!"

DH "mm, so what company did you get?"

me "my first choice is CSD but i got into MMC instead. & it isnt even any of my 3 choices!"

DH "well, tell you what, try it first. big companies may not always be good. dont quote me, but companies like CSD & KC.. theyre big organisations but doesnt mean that you can get to learn from the seniors you know?"

me "uh ok. but can i change company?"

DH "youve got a cheerful & bubbly personality so i think MMC suits you better. you give it a shot first ok?"

me "huh..."

DH "dont worry, youll be fine. you get to learn many other stuff. like how suppliers, blahblahblah..."

me "ok lor. thanks. bye."

... & that was how she answered me!??!! gosh... shes forever so optimistic. (like how ec is good and all..) & thats not always a good thing. BULLSHIT. now i have no mood to revise pdwm. :[

saturday was wasted bcos i went out with dad & bro and reached home at about 3. then got distracted bcos bro has the ticket to watch s'pore VS m'sia & i was kinda jealous. had difficulty revising. & after making me lose concentration for 3 hours, bro declared he would be staying at home to watch it live on tv. i was like wth?!? anyways, happy happy for s'pore. iloveourgoalkeeper :]

sunday was wasted bcos i had a splitting headache (borrowed vocab from DH). i tried to revise but i cant. so i eat peanuts & read a little of deathnote manga online. headache only got worse. slept early.

today is monday. & im worried. damn exams. i always always wait till the last minute. ROAR la.

pictures from sometime ago..

the food is seriously lousy. otherwise...

peisi wont look like she's gonna kill the chef..

..& kathy wont be gulping water for dinner.

as always, my nonsense :]

i love fridays. :D

anyways, saw JN in hsc today and gosh, he looked so different. initially, i was like "woah, who's this act cool teacher wearing sunglasses in school?" end up, it was JN!! -_- wahaha! not bad ah, part time teacher. & gosh, he looked so different; he's actually quite good looking. i was taken aback for a moment. LOL. uh, he said i looked different too. wells, i guess people change. nice meeting him btw.

i need to start revising. BULLSHIT!

the day ended happy :] bcos i got to meet this cute guy. WAHAHAHAH!! noi gonna work in his company so she zhuan dao le lor! its oks, i can go airport tmr. WHAHAHAHA!! young, rich, single. WOOHOO!! plus cute. WAHAHAHHA!! im crazy. -_-

got to meet DH's man too. WAHAHAHA!! size about same. attitude also about the same.

anyways, get-together was fun. awkward initially, but still ok. & i think the industry people look down on girls la. BOOS! we're good ok? we can work!

thanks big sis for all the lovely postcards! :] and "hi" to CHEEPS!

im still thinking how xin fu noi will be if she works for that cute guy. share same room leh!!! aiyo, whats wrong with me?? +.+

on the train ride home, i was reminiscing the good old days. happened so fast; these two years were just about the best i've ever had. i took out the card which beloved sister enclosed with the gift after big sis alighted at raffles place. as i turned the pages, there was this pang of sadness in my heart. argh! its indescribable. i feel so so sad, i almost cried in the train. i cant imagine the days without dummy sis by my side. i am gonna think about her during lectures, tutorials, labs, break time, lunch time, every time. BOOHOOHOO! :"[

i am going to miss my dummy sis so much. i am going to cry now. call me a crybaby, i dont care. i love my beloved dummy sis too much. i think im going to shout out loud now. i need to release all the misses. if not i cant study. sigh sigh sigh sigh........

damn it. those two years. we started out like in totally different clique. then fate made us became good friends. i remember how people backstabbed us, saying we were so bad, blah, blah, and the victim was her. i remember how dummy sis felt so bad, about all those snatching and stuff. we were i was so childish then. i was a bad and evil person then. we became so close; we were like real sisters. sigh. i dont know what would become of me next (acad) year. i think i will scream & shout & throw tantrums. i think i will go back to become a bad and evil girl.

oks, please ignore what i have written above. if you dont understand, thats even better. haha. i just miss my dumb dumb very much. to myself: stop it la!! you will see each other in school what!! so emo!!

p/s. why do i feel like the entire exams thing is over, even though exams have yet to official begin?

p/p/s. the gold-yellow moth; does it mean something? :]

thanks noi for ITP form.
thanks delivery boy for... uh.. delivery.
i miss beloved meh.
i love guides.
i hate exams.

p/s. this post is REDUNDANT! i just feel so bored. revision for the exams is boring. ZZZZ.....

why am i not studying? ohh whatever. photos!!

donut factory

look at the queue even before the shop is opened!

XXXX

the dumbs are ready to battle!

ROUND 1

ROUND 2

ahahhhaaah. im so lame. -____-

goodies bought from bangkok by BIGSIS!! love loves...

XXXX

bags & more bags for presentation. & i missed out my suit cover :[

spoiler! it wont work during the actual presentation :[

thats max on left and joel on right. rynel is shy behind the screen. LOL.

BELOVED!

XXXX

taken sooo long ago...

look at max...

...just look at max

more more more photos very very soon. meanwhile i'd better study for exams. you guys too! :]

ok. mood is back. :]

its for real. my ENTIRE suit cover is gone, just like that. i guess i can only blame myself for being careless. boohoo. oh whatever. i am not going to curse whoever who took it. BLAH!

#1. guides chalet.
#2. had subway.
#3. got a haircut :]
#4. ecm presentation = great success.
#5. watched pan's labyrinth.
#6. had spageddies.
#7. queued for donut factory.
#8. K-Lunch.

i am so careless i left my entire suit cover in school. BULLSHIT. so many things in it. I AM SO SAD?ANGRY?DISAPPOINTED. though i have many things to blog, i am in no mood to do whatsoever :[

i truly appreciate the help i get from all the kind souls. i feel blessed. firstly, irene for lending us the projector for project. we are so grateful!! without the projector, we're seriously doomed. thanks! and meh's mum is super sweet. prepare so many stuff for me. really la, im so touched i can cry lor! and project mates are so so happy people. make me happy too. cheers to all. :]

surprised at the positive results we got. cos we really thought it was gone case. but good la, at least our last-minute redo paid off. :]

busy with my passion currently. hehs.

hrm presentation today was fabulous; in a way like its the most stress-free presentation of all presentations!! love it. we had fun, eat, played. woohoo! :]

something is wrong with my computer & im a little fed up.

i dont exactly like school bcos time passes SO quickly, i dont have time to do my stuff. *sigh. endure for TWO weeks. :[

bye, im tired.

the spirit of guiding is amazing; its almost unexplainable. a year ago, i returned to help at recruitment but was shunned by many. i more or less gave up. i felt that i wasn't needed anymore. it was a so damn terrible feeling, i wanted to bawl forever. the truth is finally out and the misunderstanding has been cleared. yesterday, i returned once again to help at the recruitment and the warm welcome was surreal.

i must admit i enjoyed myself a lot. i almost went crazy. giddy with happiness. :) the feeling of THREE generations of CL sitting together at the basketball court... ahhh!! love it.

i guess you must be one of us to experience all that. despite not returning for a year, the guiding passion was still there. for that one year, i always thought i can get myself out of it, but no. i was so so wrong. whenever i relive the times we had together, i feel a surge of wanting to go back to the past. the wonderful memories. oohhhh. :))) hsc guides is soaring. even i am impressed. :)

alumni site coming up! yay! and with the new guiders, we're bound to rise above all the rest. PNA PNA PNA! at least a silver. thats the promise we made. cos our foundation/base is so strong. aiming for a bronze is just an insult. ;)

*photos and videos up soon (if possible)

wow! seniors from 1996. pleasantly surprised. :) hehs. love it!

projects are fun, and thats so rare. cheers to project mates! ^^

i guess this is not the time to blame everyone since things are already over. mistakes are learning experiences. now we all know what it is like so learn from it. i see no point in pointing fingers at this stage. if you only know how to open your mouth and boss people around, then i'd rather not ask you for help. wells, i still dont like the way you push people around like slaves. i still dont like the way you talk big only. but what can i do? i know i should stop complaining but angry thoughts need to be vented out - so i dont feel pissed, so that i can sleep well.

i guess the recent incident has affected all of us in one way or another. just dont let it affect us TOO much. bcos life goes on. bro's first day at sec 4 and his teachers are already stressing him (and his classmates) !!! gosh. i pity him. he looks V depressed, with tons of revision on his desk :(

anyway, pictures from long ago. better post it before the twelve days of xmas is over.

i havent been updating for quite a while now. and the main reason was the recent bereavement. many were shocked by the news. im sorry for not informing beforehand. i was more or less selfish. i didnt want additional burden, thus i chose to keep it to myself. i did inform some people. and thats bcos i felt i needed to tell someone.

the loss of my mum has taught me a lot of things. i have matured a lot. i have become more independent. i learn to forgive and forget.

i guess many are surprised that i still smile, and my sms-es are still loaded with "haha"s. well, ive come to realise that theres no point crying. bcos i have already cried too much. the loss wasnt very sudden, although very painful. i have already told mum all that i want to tell her. and im sure she's so much more happier wherever she is right now, cos i bet she was damn bloody suffering when she was alive.

i would like to address the issue of my fellow guides. im not sure if its true; its just my perceptions. they have came and apologised, and i have forgiven them. i guess thats what it means by growing up. actually, even before they brought it up, i have already suspected it. bcos of the first few times i went back. i felt that no one was bothering me. everyone was just doing their own stuff. i could just sense it. i felt so helpless. but who could blame them? i seemed damn irresponsible and i wasnt setting a good example, as a senior. but im glad the misunderstanding has cleared up. now the truth is out and they feel guilty. but i think they should not. just let the past pass. anyway, the new leaders are doing a great job. keep it up :) just remember not to let the new guiders bring you down. its never easy but you will get used to it. i will go back to guiding. although i have left for quite a while, the passion is still there. in addition, the activities may keep me occupied.

wells, life has to go on. bro & i are young so i think we have many things to keep us occupied, so that we can get over it faster. although i still miss mum alot alot. but i wont cry. cos mum wont be happy to see me crying. im just worried for dad, who is not getting younger. i hope i can spend more time with him. and grandpa & grandma. their hearts ache so much they cant eat nor sleep. thats just life. who would want their children to go before them? furthermore they are getting quite old. i dont know what i can do. but i hope mum can bless the family.

argh! i miss my mum :(